Weather that person is a male or a female and weather or not that person lies within the realm of fiction or fact is, for the most part, inconsequential. Whatever the reason and in whichever the context…this person has gained THE MOST power in your world.
I work in the most powerful organization on the planet….The Department of Defense….of The United States Of America. I can tell you that when it comes to power, there have been innumerable written pages, dating back to the dawn of man when we used to scrawl on the walls of caves, dedicated to mankind’s ability and non-ability to deal with power.
In the traditional sense and in this day and age, it is easy and quite fun
for all of “us junior constitutional scholars” to rail against whichever entity
we believe is abusing power. We assign the words “Abuse” and “Neglect” to those
organizations which we believe are going against our values….or degrading those
things we deem just….and righteous. Nazi’s, Baath Party, Taliban, Kim Jong Un
or Lindsay Lohan.We are obsessed with power, who has it, who abuses it and how to effect real change on those who might take all of it. But have we ever really stopped to think about what happens when we give up that power. Thomas Keneally wrote of the incredible affect that pardoning a Jewish prisoner had on the Third Reich and how the act of manipulating your power in a way that is somewhat unconventional can be quite empowering.
We could spend days here talking about the benefits of a soldier’s ability to befriend the inhabitants of his occupied territory as opposed to ruling/decimating it with an iron fist.
There are certainly situations and discussions to the military aspect of this…..but in THIS scroll….we will speak of this phenomenon of manipulating power in unconventional ways to bring about good…..within the context of raising of children.
The best portrayal of unconventional power manipulation that I have ever seen is a fictional portrayal in a series created by Gene Roddenberry called “Star Trek” ….specifically the sixth movie in the Star Trek Series which was called “The Undiscovered Country.”
Here’s How:
At one point in the story…the commander of (arguably) the MOST powerful military power in the universe (portrayed in the film by William Shatner “Kirk”) is quickly, violently and unexpectedly forced to make a decision about what to do with his power.
He has unknowingly perpetrated a great injustice upon a neighboring vessel and that injustice threatens to destabilize the region as well as the Federation he belongs to. Kirk isn’t 100% certain that he (representing the Federation) is responsible for the injustice…… so the crossroads and moment of truth is presented with great dissonance and buildup.
…..will He choose to protect himself? Will he raise his shields and defend his ship and in turn his Federation until a complete forensic investigation can be undertaken? In times of confusion….I can tell you that the EASIEST thing to do is to protect ourselves….keep those things we know and love safe from harm. It takes great skill and experience to do what the commander chooses here.
In three words: “Signal our surrender.” It blows everyone’s mind (great acting) including his Chief Communications Officer who forces him to repeat himself "WE SURRENDER!" to her before she hails the ship which is preparing to attack the one they are all standing on the bridge of.
And with that…The MOST powerful force around…. COMPLETELY SURRENDERS. This unconventional use of power enables great progress to be made in the understanding of the situation and in the lives of all those involved….without it…..there would had been nothing….no progress…no healing….no communication….only confusion, fear and loss on both sides.
There is a direct correlation between complete surrender and successful child raising that can be demonstrated in so very many ways.
I’m telling you right now…..if you want to raise kids the right way…..YOU MUST SURRENDER EVERYTHING….There is no way around it and there is no way over it....everything that you are familiar with and everything that makes you comfortable.
If you want this….prepare to be uncomfortable, humiliated, betrayed, lonely, robbed of all of your time and all of your money, ridiculed, bone-tired, emotionally exhausted, angry, peaceful, happier than you have EVER been in your life and if you play your cards right….addicted……all in a day and sometimes in just a stolen moment to yourself.
This flies in the face of all of the social media, empowering sense of self, LGBT communities fighting for marriage rights, the high cost of day care causing the absence of parents who hope against hope that whatever programming their children are watching at home (while mom and dad work their second or ever third job) teaches them to be individuals…..stick up for themselves…..fight for what is theirs and what they have earned and never let anyone take it from them…..all while showing compassion and being the better person.
I can tell you that there comes a point in many people’s lives when they must address the fundamental question which sets them apart from all the rest: Have I lived enough of my life to teach someone else how to live a fulfilling one? You don’t have to have your own blood running around….the kids don’t have to be yours….I don’t care about the sex of the parents….I am talking about PERSONAL sacrifice and surrender.
Are you capable of the absolute surrender that it takes to demonstrate to these young individuals what counts in life and what does not? Because THEY are the ones who will carry your name on long after your bones have turned to dust and your time in the spotlight has long since faded…..off of the car you drive….off of the house you own….off of the skills that you have…..off of the places you have been and the great battles you have engaged in both at home and abroad.
Your name is all that will remain and the stories that go with it. Those stories….I can assure you…..will be DIRECTLY connected with
---------------- > WHAT….YOU…DID….WITH…..YOUR….POWER.<-----------------------
I am roughly (hopefully) half-way through my life on Earth. It doesn’t matter the whip you push, the rocket you ride, the portfolio you diversify or the THINGS you can collect for the small amount of time you are alive. It has taken me the better part of 30 years to discover that of ALL of the power I have collected in my life….on my wall….on my chest….on paper….across the planet…and here at home….the MOST IMPORTANT thing I can do with it is the unconventional, complete SURRENDER of it….. in order to facilitate the growth and nurturing of my family.
I signaled my surrender long ago….LONG ago…to my family and The Lord.
Set the example, tip the spear…then snuggle your kid.
That’s how you get big.
My best,
Mark
