Ten years ago today (December 3rd) and tomorrow (December 4th) I set sail upon the arduous process of pulling myself out of the isolation from delayed onset PTSD.
As I grow older and now have time to reflect on what a harrowing journey it was, I am able to take into account some of the things I was up against and some of the people who broke through the cycle in order to give me a hand up rather than simply a hand out.
Each and every step was an un-sure one.
It’s like stepping out onto the beach from a ship that has just crossed an ocean.
You feel the sand beneath your feet but some of it is unsettled and crumbling…so you take another step….and then another… and then another.
One after the other as you begin to understand what life is really about and the direction you choose to take.
I have met a ton of people since I left that house up in Seattle.
I have made some ‘choices’ in people.
They made some choices of their own based upon who they saw in front of them at the time…using their best judgements and in the best interests of their own lives and their own paths.
My ancestors themselves came over on boats as they fled Nazi’s and were just as unsure of themselves and their lives as I was when I landed in ‘The Valley Of The Sun’.
They faced similar hardships and sacrifices and fought for everything they had.
They served in world wars and steeled the American resolve here at home when they were too old to fight.
Along the way, I have channeled their spirits.
I have fulfilled the hopes and dreams of their endeavors to bring their children a better tomorrow…and watch their grandchildren grow strong and thrive.
I have built a mighty empire here in God’s country from humble beginnings…making good on promises long forgotten to the people who doubted I would make it….told me to my face, “You will never____.”
Today, it is more than a spiteful reprise to ill-informed persons of little faith in me.
Rather, it is a forgiving nod and tip of the hat…An acknowledgement that all things are cyclical in life and that real work produces TANGILBE results that we all can reach out and touch….
In my home, my acreage, my kids and my amazing wife.
So, here we are .
“If you had to do it all over again would you?”
I get asked that a lot.
……..
……
So many memories run through my head….
The people, the places, the lessons and the work.
“See the thing is” about this life… is that we don’t GET a chance to go back and do it over again.
I can attest to that from all of the battle buddies I have lost along the way who thought that the journey was just too hard.
God puts people in your life FOR A REASON.
So EACH ONE of the PEOPLE who I have been BLESSED to know…. Have served some kind of purpose.
So yes…. I would do it again.
The road has been difficult at times but I have come to believe over time that every person on this planet is basically good.
The circumstances we all find ourselves in during our time on earth can prove to be things that we aren’t prepared for in the moment…but that make us all better people.
I am a better PERSON for knowing each of the people who have been in my life along the way.
I have taken some time away during the run up to this post trying to figure out how to let the words come out.
It’s dangerous for me to post, given the position I now hold and will hold in future promotions because of the ease of internet searches these days but I think this is a safe one.
Posterity is Biblical…. We MUST mark the milestones in our lives….and take great celebration in the means God has granted us with.
Therefore, I will put this up here…. To mark time.
I know who will read it other than myself.
There are still a few souls I can see that check up on me from time to time and I am grateful for that.
Some of the same lives that have helped shape me today.
So, here “we are”…..
Ten years later.
I no longer “suck at life” as hardcore as I used to….
But it is thanks to all of you…even some that are looking in down from heaven who I know will read this.
I love you and miss you… every last one of you.
I hope that this finds you well and that you hold your loved ones close and the departed closer in your heart.
Have a happy holiday season and stay safe.
Here’s to a crazy CRAZY decade filled with twists and turns and a whole lot of LIFE that I wouldn’t give up for anything.
Here’s to us, our crazy paths in life and this crazy ride we all call life!
-Mark
"....and when you whisper 'someday' Tommy....
....mean it." ~Mark, 2008-2018~
